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The Little Book of Toilet Jokes: The Ultimate Collection of Crap Jokes, Number One-Liners and Hilarious Cracks

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The strip ends with a sarcastic admonition that rising costs of living are always the public's fault. Foul-Mouthed Super-Obese Mobility Scooter Woman – a lazy, benefit-dependent woman who blames her total lack of work ethic on her morbid obesity; which requires her to use a mobility scooter. The next morning he hears the rooster marching the chickens up and down the yard outside his bedroom window. The Adventures of Jeremy Clarkson, the Petrolhead Motormouth – One-off strip featuring former Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson talking extensively about cars to an uninterested Big Issue salesman. The girl attempts to raise the alarm, but is trapped by the homicidal ghost of Rudolf Nureyev, with the strip abruptly ending on an explanation that had it continued she would have been miraculously rescued by police in a submarine.

When Johnny intentionally farted during the applause for Gore (so that nobody would hear it), the former Vice President became violently ill, causing Johnny to observe that Gore was now "greener" than his environmental message. Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day. His character was cut when legal action was threatened over the copyright of some of the songs; according to creator Chris Donald in his book, he did not think that making the character sing royalty-free hymns or nursery rhymes would have quite the same comedic effect. The characters were allegedly inspired by a real family observed by Viz editor Chris Donald in Newcastle upon Tyne city centre, where the son began an unprovoked assault on another boy; the parents, rather than intervening, began shouting encouragement to their child. Chris Donald, creator of Viz, has said that in the early days of the magazine he would not permit the "c word" to be used, until an outside artist (Sean Agnew) sent him this strip which he found to be so good he decided to use it anyway.

He looks inside expecting a fox but all he sees is the rooster ripping feathers out of the wings of the chickens screaming at the top of it's voice.

Captain Magnetic – A strip about a man who claims to be a superhero with magnetic powers, only to find out his powers are useless. He is always apologetic, and constantly reminds people that his colonic expulsions are beyond his control - despite his insistence on "keeping to a strict pump diet", which often includes beans, brussels sprouts and "cabbage water". In fact, we'd wager that some of the first jokes you heard and repeated as a kid were of the knock-knock persuasion.He is only ever happy when he is God-bothering, "comforting" grieving widows with descriptions of their husbands' (supposed) sufferings in Hell and getting himself beaten up in the process. An early introduction to different types of humor may just help kids excel socially, intellectually, and creatively. Cilla Blackbeard – a strip portraying Cilla Black as a vicious pirate captain who evades and defeats the Royal Navy, led by Admiral Noel Edmonds and his crew of rival TV presenters. The strip ends with the death of the grandfather, devastating Gordon who believes that Grandad was about to build him a time machine.

The Intern - A strip telling the story of Tom Golightly, who dreams of being an advertising executive and in 1981 manages to get himself a one-year unpaid internship. Let me explain, ladies that the Fokker is among the Luftwaffe's finest aircraft, and both their fighters and bombers have given us a great deal of trouble in combat.

Lord Shite and Nanny No-Dumps – a one-off strip which draws upon the urban myth that the aristocracy do not poo. The friend asked what happened and the man said, "I didn't have a 1 dollar bill, so I used 4 quarters! There are almost thousands of shows at Edinburgh Festival Fringe, each of them vying for your laughter. His gaseous emissions have been known to destroy houses and other hard-surfaced articles, as well as injure people. Considerable overtones of Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-four as well as more than a hint of the Nazis (their ranks sound very Nazi: 'Herr Oberbottomführer!

Copper Kettle – quoted as "The PC who loves his PG" (PG meaning tea brand PG Tips), the strip follows the life of the policeman and his futile attempts to obtain some tea – his favourite beverage – while on his beat. This was exactly the sort of thing that could be misunderstood by the pampered and protected young debutantes, and the last thing he wanted was a complaint to Air Vice-Marshal Dowding about foul-mouthed pilots.The Lager Lads – somewhat like the Real Ale Twats, these are a group of clean-cut, upstanding beer aficionados who like lager more than anything. Little Plumber – Spoof of Beano comic strip Little Plum, in which the American Indian is a jobbing [ clarification needed] plumber. The next day, another man goes to that same beach and the same woman with no legs and arms is there, crying by the shoreline.

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