Pink Ultra Lightweight Folding Travel Compact Aluminium Wheelchair in a Bag

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Ever since you received your diagnosis of Asperger syndrome, you’ve almost used it as a “safety blanket”, blaming everything on the Asperger’s rather than looking deeper at anything else. I can’t blame you. Kids are mean! Stretch. Move, even when it doesn’t feel necessary. There will come a day when your body needs more help and you will be grateful you gave it a head start. Talking of which, don’t stop going to the dentist. Yes, clinics aren’t made for wheelchairs but you deserve access to all healthcare like anyone else. That goes for cervical smears too. There are no limits to what you can do. Sure, you can’t be an elite marathon runner, or even an average one. But there is a big world out there and it is yours to explore. You will have a career you love, and spend each day with passion and purpose. Just because you don’t see anyone in the media that looks like you growing up doesn’t mean you don’t belong there.

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These are not new things – you’re already aware of them – but sometimes you hide them because of what other people might think. Stop it. Those are the qualities that make you you. Be proud of them, because they make you stand out from the crowd.There will be bumps along the way, at least one particularly big one. But don’t worry. Health is not linear, it ebbs and wanes and you will ride every wave. It is OK to cry. You will laugh too. Lots. You will drink wine in gardens with friends you love. You will speak in front of vast crowds and beam over the radio. You will tour cities with bright lights and see art, plays, and music. If I could give you one teeny piece of advice, though, I’d say, never apologise. Naturally, you will do things that you should say sorry for, but I mean the bigger stuff: never apologise for being you. You’re loud, you’re annoying, you’re goofy, you’re disabled and (spoiler alert) you’re gay. You’re expecting me to tell you something deep and profound but, honestly, just keep on doing you. Most importantly, keep on telling jokes because one day you will make a living from them. Steel Transport Wheelchair features an extremely compact and lightweight steel frame and is ideal for the occasional or first time user who wants a strong, reliable and easy to use wheelchair. You don’t need to avoid a doctor’s office for a decade but you don’t have to be tethered to one either. Enjoy the freedom of good periods of health and use the NHS as your helper when the bad ones come. The bad ones inevitably come, and when they do you will find yourself lifted by the type of strength that cannot be reduced by muscle weakness. Don’t be afraid to question medical professionals, or challenge them for more. You are your greatest advocate, best cheerleader and the most qualified expert on your body.

Invacare Action 3 Junior children wheelchair - Invacare UK Invacare Action 3 Junior children wheelchair - Invacare UK

It’s me, the older and (questionably) wiser version of you. You’ll never guess what … they have found a cure for cerebral palsy. You’re able-bodied!

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I’m proud of you. I should say that from the off. I’m proud of all the things that you will go on to achieve: a PhD; your first book; a column in a national newspaper; the perfect blow dry. I’m proud of the fact you did it all with low-grade muscles, fatigue, pain, steps and more chest infections than you can count.

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You will fight fiercely to keep your independence, but perhaps you can ask for help occasionally – it isn’t a sign of weakness. Some people actually like helping you and get a sense of fulfilment from it, especially your family; be kind to them, as they only want to support you. While all this is going on, the state-funded support networks you are used to fall away, as the arbitrary leap from children’s to adults’ services is rigidly enforced. Which is where Roald Dahl’s Marvellous Children’s Charity comes in, providing specialist nurses in hospitals, who can help navigate this complicated transition. What makes this collection so special is that all these people know what they are talking about. In those darkest moments, I was surrounded by well-meaning able-bodied adults telling me that everything would change once I was older, and I used to look at them and think: what the hell do you know? Frances Ryan in the 1990s: ‘You have more potential than you can dream of.’ Photograph: Courtesy of Frances Ryan PS: Stop wearing bodycon dresses. Buy dungarees. You look great in dungarees. Victoria Ekanoye, actorThings will be calmer, but not yet. There are so many adventures you need to go on first. Your determination will be your greatest asset. It will get you in and out of trouble. It will get you to exactly where you need to be. One day you will step through a door and discover you have been fighting the wrong fight. All of the years you spent refusing to be defined by your disability were only because you had been told that being disabled wasn’t beautiful or alluring, or desirable. You will learn this is a lie and that being part of the disabled community is the most wonderful, glorious thing ever. Getting the world to understand this is the real fight. You have much work to do. Society’s view of disabled people will slowly change between your time and mine, and in due course, the wider public will begin to realise what we’ve known all along: it is the world surrounding us that is disabling, not the other way around. Cerrie Burnell: ‘Your determination will be your greatest asset. It will get you in and out of trouble.’ Photograph: www.roalddahl.com Ruth Fairclough: ‘You can ask for help occasionally – it isn’t a sign of weakness.’ Photograph: www.roalddahl.com Max Spooner: ‘A disability can actually drive you to focus on what you can do, not what you can’t.’ Photograph: www.roalddahl.com

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You are not in competition with your non-disabled peers, nor a hypothetical healthy version of yourself. There is no timeline. It is not a race. The destination changes and is none the worse for it.There is nothing I can tell you about how – or who – to be because you never listen to anyone. Not really. If you’re feeling low or sad, talk to someone. It’s so important that you share your feelings with someone you trust; you never know, they may be able to give you advice that will make life feel a little better. Memories of my own teenage years are still strong enough, 10 years on, to cause panic to rise like a wave in my chest. One of the things I most vividly remember is fear. Fear that I wouldn’t achieve anything, fear that I would always be lonely. Fear, most of all, that things would never get better. Now that you’ve started secondary school, I know your feelings of being “different” are stronger than ever. You think you’re “the weird one” and are starting to feel a sense of acceptance that this is just the way things are. And in case a disabled teenager is reading this, let me add my voice to the chorus: just hold out, better days are nearly here.