Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

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FOR HIM Shagging - cyber sex Positioning your webcam so that your irresistible body can be seen by all those men pretending to be girls on the Internet 5 calories Spending many hours online trying to find a genuine bird to cyber-shag 10 calories Making do with a Thai ladyboy 30 calories
TOTAL: 45 calories
96 Forget diets...Forget the gym...Forget everything you knew about losing weight... Every aspect of shagging burns calories. And this book tells you how many calories each position will burn*. So get this book, get shagging and get slim! * Only aids weight loss as part of a calorie-controlled diet. FOR HIM Shagging - in the shower Getting the water temperature right 10 calories Soaping her up 10 calories Trying not to slip over while you’re slipping her one 80 calories
TOTAL: 100 calories
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Shag Yourself Slim - The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

FOR HIM Foreplay - golden shower Persuading your partner to let you piss on her 2 calories Pissing on your partner 5 calories Running after your angry partner who thought you were only kidding 100 calories
TOTAL: 107 calories
34 FOR HIM Shagging - with another couple Introducing ’er indoors to his missus 5 calories Making polite conversation about house prices in your area 5 calories Giving his missus a full 10,000 mile service while he takes a ride in the loan car 150 calories
TOTAL: 160 calories
76 FOR HER Extra calorific benefits of shagging Losing your appetite at the mere thought of him seeing your love handles 200 calories Being shagged so hard it takes an extra effort just to walk for the next two days 100 calories Walking to your friend’s house to tell her about your sordid night 40 calories
TOTAL: 340 calories
113Forgotten the title or the author of a book? Our BookSleuth is specially designed for you. Visit BookSleuth Now, I normally wouldn’t, not at all, but considering how hard I’ll be working very soon, no harm in indulging in a few jammy dodgers. And a Victoria sponge. What the hell, I’ll just balance out with some savoury: dorritos with salasa. After all, I can afford to munch while I read, because, very soon I’m going to be shagging myself all the way slim. Phoar.

Shag Yourself Slim by Imah Goer · OverDrive: ebooks Shag Yourself Slim by Imah Goer · OverDrive: ebooks

FOR HER Preparing for a shag Trying on 15 different outfits, none of which disguise your extra pounds 20 calories Squeezing your arse into tiny trousers meant for a 10 year old 5 calories Taking it all off again now that you’ve seduced him 10 calories
TOTAL: 35 calories
21 FOR HIM Finding a shag partner on holiday Holding your stomach in whilst walking along the beach looking for a suitable partner 40 calories Buying an ice-cream and sharing it with a stranger minus 200 calories Holding your stomach in even more 50 calories
TOTAL: minus 110 calories
18 Then would not have been disappointed A lot of money for a very small in size book was disappointed in that part FOR HIM Shagging - a sheep Seducing it by wearing your favourite woolly jumper and talking knowledgeably about grass 20 calories Mounting it from behind while it’s still thinking about your comments on lawn upkeep 50 calories Running away from the jealous farmer 300 calories
TOTAL: 370 calories
68 FOR HER Shagging - a desperate virgin Explaining what foreplay is for whilst holding him away from you 5 calories Enjoying a full 30 seconds of foreplay from him before he gets down to it 20 calories Enjoying a further 30 seconds of full-blown bonking before he explodes 40 calories
TOTAL: 65 calories
73FOR HER Shagging - missionary Spreading your legs 5 calories Faking pleasure and an orgasm whilst thinking about what to wear tomorrow 50 calories Getting up and going out to have some fun once he’s passed out 200 calories
TOTAL: 255 calories
47 FOR HER Self-shagging with a washing machine Loading the washing machine and switching it on 10 calories Sitting on it during the fastest spin cycle 30 calories Ironing the clothes afterwards 30 calories
TOTAL: 70 calories
11 FOR HER Shagging - a client Explaining the tariff 5 calories Listening to his bullshit about his wife not understanding him 5 calories Removing his hands from your breasts and explaining they’re optional extras 20 calories
TOTAL: 30 calories
FOR HIM Foreplay - oiling Covering your body with lavender oil 10 calories Covering your woman’s body with lavender oil 20 calories Putting a towel on the bed so your sheets don’t get covered in lavender oil 5 calories
TOTAL: 35 calories
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Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

FOR HER Shagging - a sheep Putting on several sets of false breasts to attract a male sheep 20 calories Letting your chosen ruminant mammal take you from behind 30 calories Running away from the excited farmer 300 calories
TOTAL: 350 calories
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FOR HIM Shagging - a nervous virgin Spending three days giving her foreplay and still she won’t relax 500 calories Trying to persuade her that you’re the best person to lose her cherry to 20 calories Giving up and heading into the loo for a wank instead 50 calories
TOTAL: 570 calories
70 FOR HIM Preparing for a shag Undoing her bra with one hand 5 calories Removing her arse from too-tight jeans with the help of some margarine and a team of firemen 20 calories Shaking hands with the firemen as they leave 5 calories
TOTAL: 30 calories
22 A shag haircut is a great style for blonde hair as it adds some extra texture and an undone finish which works to brighten up your complexion. If you’re after a more subtle look, opt for low-maintenance highlights – this will prevent your colour from looking brassy and preserve your blonde hue for longer. 20. Shag with Brown Hair Shagging - faking orgasm Shagging - real orgasm Shagging - telephone sex Extra calorific benefits of shagging Negative calorific aspects of shagging Shagging diary FOR HER Shagging - on the car bonnet Enjoying the feeling of the warm engine under your arse 5 calories Enjoying the feeling of the fresh night air on your twat 5 calories Helping him to straighten out the dent in the bonnet 100 calories
TOTAL: 110 calories
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