Perfect Fit The Bumper Plus Donut Buffer Cockring and Ballstretcher, White

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The societal silence around painful sex and pelvic health is part of a larger systemic problem where our medical institutions, education systems, and insurance policies generally don’t support female sexual dysfunction,” explains Sauer.

Sexual dysfunction affects 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men. Yet we are bombarded with erectile dysfunction advertisements and information. In fact, “ female sexual dysfunction” wasn’t even used as medical term until 1998 — several years after the arrival of Viagra. I think we have a cultural myth that sex is supposed to be simple,” says Amy Steinhauer, a sex therapist from Evanston, Illinois. She notes attitudes toward sexual pain are “similar to how our larger culture tends to view mental health problems, unfortunately.” Denying the fact that sometimes sex hurts is like being embarrassed to have the flu,” Sauer says. “And this is not just a conversation for women. Men have been showing up in the most incredible ways, eager to learn. Our male testers find themselves asking, ‘Does this feel good? What about this?’” She notes that women sometimes accept the pain they experience during intercourse because they believe it’s a biological reality or simply “bad sex.” Furthermore, Sauer says many women find the topic difficult to discuss and often won’t report sexual pain when they begin experiencing it.And if you don’t like the sensation of a new toy the very first time you use it, don’t give up on it just yet. “The first time we try anything, we’re doing what we call spectatoring, which is observing ourselves, how it’s going, what we thought, what our partner thought. We’re in our heads and not so much in the experience,” says Fleming. “So try, try again.”

If you need to strengthen your pelvic floor, the sexual wellness retailer's Silicone Kegel Toning Set can help. It's cleverly shaped for easy, progressive training in 50g, 80g and 100g weights. By strengthening the pelvic floor, this set may improve bladder control and increase the intensity of orgasms. Sauer and others draw a direct line from this legacy of overt sexual bias in the medical domain to modern practitioners' widespread cluelessness about and dismissiveness of receptive partners' reports of pain during deep penetration. This history also goes a long way towards explaining why even seemingly progressive guides to navigating this sort of pain focus on what a receptive partner can do to accommodate a big penis, rather than on what a penis-haver can do to work with receptive anatomy. Notably, most prescribe relaxation techniques, stretching regimens, plenty of build-up and lubrication, and positions that task receptive partners with controlling the depth, angle, and speed of penetration. Bigger isn't always better This broad, public reevaluation of norms and expectations around sex and pleasure, alongside the mainstreaming of the sexual health and wellness industry, then created cultural and economic space for a new wave of products designed by and/or for receptive partners. Which explains how and why a few other explicitly depth-limiting devices, like the established toy brand Perfect Fit's The Bumper Thrust Buffer, launched around the same time as the OhNut. These DIY solutions spread through the queer community, ever experimental and broadly liberated from heterosexual cultural scripts as it is, over the course of a few decades, Boyajian notes. But "it wasn’t until six or seven years ago that I first saw the same methods discussed by cisgender women who were finding penetration uncomfortable or painful." They believe this reflects a sea change in sexual discourse over the last decade, flowing out of novel online spaces that finally gave women room to publicly critique and organize against the widespread disregard for their experiences. The products in this range are made from body-safe, silky soft silicone which feels great next to the skin."Bottom line, the Ohnut isn’t going to work for everybody because every body is different, and it certainly won’t work for all types of pelvic pain. Even I still experience painful sex sometimes. I think for some people, the Ohnut may just provide space to relax — and the body’s inability to relax can be a significant contributor to the reasons penetration can hurt. To try it out, snag one for yourself here. In addition to being experienced as a range of physical sensations (burning, throbbing, aching), dyspareunia can also affect people emotionally. It may lead to embarrassment, guilt, confusion, and feelings of loneliness. We feel this new range offers both sexes relief and workable ways to improve sexual satisfaction and performance.” Moreover, Sauer says the Ohnut can also help transgender women following gender confirmation surgery. She hopes a future clinical trial can be conducted that specifically focuses on the Ohnut’s potential in this area since resources for trans women following surgery are limited.

The Ohnut approaches “painful sex holistically,” allowing users to control how deeply the vagina is penetrated during sex through compression technology and a patent-pending linking ring.There's also a set of Penis Bumpers for reducing the the depth of penetration. These stretchy rings mean the wearer won’t have to worry about going too deep, so their partner can relax and enjoy the moment in comfort. The object looks like its name — stretchy donuts — and fits around the base of a phallic object like a penis or sex toy. It also holds a condom in place.