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Growing up, I used to wish that I was ‘normal’,” says Leila. “Now we joke about how we’re not normal. We say we’re aliens and we have superpowers.” Nella sends a photo to the BBC using an encrypted app. She's pictured sitting on a chair with young children around her.
Mum cried. I cried. We convinced ourselves it was a phase. She asked me to make an effort to be be ‘normal’. I said I would.”
When she came out to herself, Leila began to look for other gay people. She doubted there would be women like her in Burundi, but she searched videos on Facebook and YouTube seeking lesbians in other countries. We started talking,” says Niya, “Then one day, in the middle of a deep conversation, she turned to me and said, ‘I like women’.”
Many members of the group say they have experienced violence at the hands of family members who became suspicious about their sexuality.Then something happened that she didn’t anticipate. Leila’s brother went through her phone and found the text she had sent to her friend. Jen really wants a tan, but she’s terrified of getting horribly sunburned because of her very fair skin. A soft tan would really compliment her flame-red hair, though, and she’d like to find a way to make it happen. When her friends suggest a tanning salon, she figures she has it made. She’s got it made in more ways than one because an employee at the salon has her eyes set squarely on her, and before long Tina gives Jen more than just a tan; she gives her a torrid first lesbian sex experience! Nella is now divorced but others in the group remain married. Their husbands are not aware of their sexuality. Another photo appears and this time she is wearing loose jeans and a fitted T-shirt. It’s the same T-shirt she was wearing in the park with the women. They could protect her while she was in the family home, but they could not guarantee her safety outside if the wrong people found out.
She was brought up by strict parents in a suburban neighbourhood of Bujumbura. She and her siblings had to be home earlier than their friends. Niya had to dress conservatively and was expected to act in a demure way.
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She turned to social media and carried out searches for women who like women. Suddenly, she realised she was not alone. It’s hard to describe how exactly gay people meet each other in Africa,” says Leila. “You don’t have a lesbian hotspot that you can Google - a known place we can meet up. Leila, Niya - and later Nella - formed a community. Now there are dozens of women who see themselves as Burundi’s secret lesbian collective. Some have support from their families. A few are married with children. No-one is openly out. I wasn’t into it,” she says, “I thought maybe it was because the guy wasn’t cute. So I dumped him and started dating a cute guy.” Buoyed by what she found, Nella began connecting with women online. Women like her. Women who soon became her closest friends.