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In other words, we shouldn’t be blaming working-class lads for not wanting to get involved in the soft and cuddly language of mental health. This is a great book, and an important one. It's the one I would give to any friend who I observed struggling with those issues, as it's written in a genuinely human way, devoid of psychobabble, moralizing, victimhood embracing and judgement. It comes from a place of hard-won experience, told with total honesty. It will do more than just save lives, it will help those saved lives feel like they're genuinely worth living— Irvine Welsh When I landed my first job in journalism I told myself that the best way to succeed was to never stop. When I finished at the office I would go home and write down ideas, do bits of research, read other newspapers and magazines obsessively. I was a product of Thatcherism – totally in thrall to my own productivity. I didn’t just want a steady job that paid the bills. I wanted to create great things constantly and be defined by them. And I also wanted to get totally shitfaced every weekend (plus sometimes on a Thursday). And so I got involved in magazines towards the end of the 90s, but it was still absolutely booming, and magazine publishing in this country was huge. We can all make a change by being more open with our mates: honest conversations show us all we are not alone in our feelings, and we don’t need to feel so ashamed.
A funny, wise and above all valuable book. An arm around your shoulder from your next best friend— Danny Wallace I craved stimulation at all times. I was terrified of even fleeting moments of boredom. I thought of myself as being constantly on the run from lapsing into that fat bored kid I had once been. The truth is, I was probably just scared of ever being alone with my own unfiltered thoughts. Eventually, there was a collapse. There always is. Since then, I have rebuilt my life in a simpler way that is easier to manage. As a broadcaster, he has fronted documentaries for the BBC and Channel 4 and hosted over 1000 hours of live national radio across the BBC, talkSPORT and talkRadio. It was during that period, probably when I had my second child, so we had two small children, and I had a lot of other stuff going on. I had a lot of work going on because that’s the other thing driven sort of mad with anxiety and the idea of providing and taking on much more work and stress than was healthy while simultaneously trying to really do the dad thing as best I could. And it all became overwhelming for me. And that was why I turned to drink and drugs to sort of try and self-medicate my way through it because I wasn’t able to share any of those stresses and strains with anyone.”A nationwide network of men’s groups that meet every Monday night at 7pm to chat about how they’re getting on. Keeping it all inside was what nearly dragged Sam under. Then he began to open up and share his story with others. Soon his life started to get better and better. Now, he’s written this book to help you do the same. Living in insecure housing and experiencing money worries puts you into a constant state of fight or flight,” says writer, broadcaster and former government mental health tsar, Natasha Devon MBE. You didn’t get paid that much, really to be a young journalist on a magazine. But you were able to live a lifestyle that was that of someone who earned 20 times your yearly salary because every door was opened, and everything came free. Every weekend you had a different car that you’d been lent to drive around in or a hotel that you could go and stay in to review. In 2018 I had a complete nightmare, losing my radio show and TV show within a couple of months of each other. Shortly afterwards, my production company descended into a state of financial pandemonium and all sorts of professional and deeply personal conflict ensued. I was miserable, exhausted and scared of the future. I had been sober for three years and, despite the prevailing chaos, I wasn’t once tempted to throw myself off the wagon. I figured however bad things seemed, my mental health would be a great deal worse with a hangover. Mind you, this was the first big test I had faced since I quit drink.
By the time I was in my late 30s I was struggling to cope with the combined pressures of work, family and socialising – and had started to self-medicate with alcohol. I have spent years as a broadcaster both in radio and TV. I have hosted numerous shows on BBC 5Live, BBC London and talkSPORT and presented documentaries for BBC Three and Channel 4. From 2016-2018 I hosted the drive time show on Talk Radio, covering the Brexit referendum, two general elections and the 2016 US Presidential Election, live from Washington DC. So it was the scandal and the mischievousness that shifted copies. And the celebrities knew that as well as we did. What else did people do to sort their heads out when numbing the senses with drugs and alcohol were off the table? Meditation? Yoga? These things work a treat for millions but, to be honest, I just wasn’t into it at that stage of my life. I was frantic, strung out. I couldn’t sleep. I felt pretty lost and alone at times. For many middle-aged blokes like me, masculinity is still all about beer, banter and a stiff upper lip.I was almost competitive when I was, like, a young dad. I was like, I wanted to be perceived as, like, this sort of expert dad. I really wanted to go, ‘I’ve already been to the safari park this morning, and ballet classes, and done their French homework with them. Like, being a dad was like a new sport, and that really took its toll.” Because if it looked like if it looked contrived, like an interview of a celebrity, with a nice photo shoot on the cover where she’s been shot in a studio and it’s obviously all endorsed, it sold a lot less. The Mirror's newsletter brings you the latest news, exciting showbiz and TV stories, sport updates and essential political information. He recently qualified at Level 2 in counselling skills and became an ambassador for the mental health charity, CALM.
Then I did something that was pretty alien to me. I started to own up to the fact that I was struggling. I went to a group called Andy’s Man Club where blokes meet every Monday night for a chinwag about life, all the shit it can throw at you and all the beauty that’s to be found in it too. It helped. I started chatting to mates about what I was going through and the things I was worried about. I was stunned by their empathy. Next, I started writing about this sort of stuff. A couple of articles in the newspaper about my own little struggles: the drinking, the anxiety, the childhood stuff I’d never quite shaken off. I’d been writing for years but never with much honesty about myself. I like making people laugh and found it was easy to use humour as a means of distracting from self-reflection. Sam Delaney is an experienced author, journalist and broadcaster with a special interest in men’s mental health. The other thing is they become addicted to coverage, and they stop caring about whether that coverage is positive or negative. They want to be in there. And I’m not joking when I tell you that I didn’t have this myself, but there were members of my news team who said that celebrities would ring up and put on a voice pretending to be someone else reporting a story about themselves.”More than half would be celebrities either tipping you off or setting up stuff or, very often, one of the most popular things was to collude with the celebrity to set up a photo shoot that appeared to be stolen paparazzi shots. But which, in fact, had been fairly meticulously choreographed between us at the magazine and the celebrity’s team. And you are allowed to feel exhausted, miserable, anxious because it happens to everyone. The important thing is recognise that. Don’t feel guilty. Because you should know that however together, your peers look, they are going through it too, whether they tell you or not.” Rapper Professor Green, football player Declan Rice and comedian Romesh Ranganathan are just some of the ambassadors working with CALM.